Contrary to what I would love to believe: Marriage equality will not solve homophobia.

 I was in a very good mood when I woke up this morning.
It was sunny, it was beautiful, birds were singing, the gay may marry, I was proud to be the queer I am, nothing could possibly bring me down:

Or so I thought....

While at work today, I was talking to a customer about the Love is the Law party last night. which was about half a block away from my work location. 

“It was crazy! People where everywhere and lines all over the place were out the door.” The customer behind her, who is a regular that is always telling me how much she respects me every day, scoffed.
“I went home before all of that chaos. It’s just gross to me! Why would someone want  two mothers or two fathers?”

The first customer takes her beverage and looks at her “There’s nothing wrong with any of it, a family is a family.” then walks away.

My regular customer looks at me again. “Why would anyone want that for a child? It’s just weird! If I was a child I would ask to be adopted into a normal family!”

I couldn’t stand back and not say anything. I just couldn’t.
“That is really hurtful.” I blurt out.
“No it’s not! It’s weird! and gross!” She might as well of just slapped me in the face then and there. I suck in all my courage. The next words out of my mouth I try not to say to customers too often:

“You realize I’m gay right?”

She stopped and looked at me wide eyed. I know I looked like I was about to cry. I divert my eyes to finish making her beverage.
“Oh Mariah! I didn’t mean you.” She tried to defend herself, but I've heard it before.
I looked her straight in the eye.

“But you did. Thank you.” I hand her beverage off. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She doesn’t say a word. She takes her drink and walks away.
 I go back to making the next drink and wiping off the counters. I’m trying my best to shake off what just happened.

The next drink is ready and I call it out the next customer. He comes up to get his drink from me.
“Thank you for telling her what she was saying was wrong Riah.” He says. “You are a strong girl. Some people will never change it’s true, but don’t let that get you down. Our world is getting one step closer each day and I’m glad you didn’t let her get away with what she said.”
“Thank you. I’ve dealt with enough discrimination. I’m done letting the world get away with it.”
“Keep it up kiddo. You’ll be just fine.”

Photo courtesy of Wipe Out Homophobia

It had been a really long time since I have been confronted with true homophobia face to face. I believe the last time had to of been back in high school. I've purposefully surrounded myself with liberal, open minded, loving, accepting people. I live in a city that is supportive of the LBGTQIA community and I really forgot for a while there that no matter how small or insignificant- Homophobia hurts real people. Every. Single. Day.

What I experienced hurt me deeply that day. I felt like I was less of a person, who I am in invalid to who I love, my relationships are insignificant, that if I ever choose to have a family it will be dysfunctional.

And that was nothing.

I've had friends get kicked out of their homes, slammed into lockers, beat up in the street, raped, and spat at all for one reason.

Because they were queer.

Yes we are taking steps to equality little by little. Just because Same sex marriage will be legalized does not mean that homophobia will be put to an end.

Racism didn't end because of desegregation. Homophobia won't end with same sex marriage.

This is going to be a really long process. It's going to take time.
We can't stop fighting this.


There are many ways we can combat Homophobia (as well and biphobia, transphobia, and other phobias and just translate to bullying)

 1. Stop using homophobic language casually. 
I know you want to try and say that it doesn't hurt anybody but it does. I honestly consider words like faggot, dyke, and phrases like "that's so gay" in the same category as the "n" word.  
Check out this nifty site here. It counts how many times on twitter people are using homophobic language. The numbers are disgusting. Don't be one of these people.


2. Call people out for being homophobic
Yeah, I actually mean shame people for their homophobia and bullying. Tell people in charge what's happening. Stand up for victims if you see one, and don't let yourself be a victim by letting the words that hurt you just drift by. If we do nothing, that homophobia will never end

3. Become an ally!
If you aren't a part of the LBGTQIA community in your identity, you can still be a part of the community as an ally! Learn what people of these communities have to go through. Learn their stories. You'll better understand why it's so important to fight homophobia.

Homophobia is more than just mean: it's a weapon that has the potential to even kill those we love.

• Suicide is the 3^rd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24 and accounts for 12.2% of the deaths every year in that age group. (2009, CDC, “10 Leading Causes of Death by Age Group – United States, 2009”) 

• LGB youth are 4 times more likely, and questioning youth are 3 times more likely, to attempt suicide as their straight peers. (2011, CDC, “Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health-Risk Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9-12: Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance”)

• Suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers. (2011, CDC, “Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health-Risk Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9-12: Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance”)

• Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt. (2007, Suicide and Life-Threatening Behaviors, Grossman, D’Augelli, “Transgender Youth and Life-Threatening Behaviors”)

• LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection. (2009, Family Acceptance Project™ “Family rejection as a predictor of negative health outcomes in white and Latino lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults”)

• 1 out of 6 students nationwide (grades 9-12) seriously considered suicide in the past year. (2011, CDC, “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance – United States, 2011”)

• Suicide attempts are nearly two times higher among Black and Hispanic youth than White youth. (2011, CDC, “Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance – United States, 2011”) 

• Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average. (2010, American Journal of Public Health, “Mental health disorders, psychological distress, and suicidality in a diverse sample of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youths”)

 (Facts are from The Trevor Project which is an organization dedicated towards suicide prevention. Especially in the LBGTQIA community)

Recently this video was circulating through my newsfeed on Facebook  which highlighted just how dangerous bullying can be.


Also- as a reminder for anyone that doesn't know:  

 Spread the word and TOGETHER we will end Homophobia little by little.
 

Love is the Law!

I'm happy to announce that the state I am a citizen of is now one of the 12 states in the US that has legalized same sex marriage!
I was all about voting No in November when they were trying to amend the constitution so that marriage would be defined as One Man One Woman.
I was proud that Minnesota was the first state to overturn such and act and then 6 months later passed a bill to legalize same sex marriage!

People gathered at the state capitol in Saint Paul. Photo courtesy of TJ Dubovich.

I have never been so proud to be a Minnesotan! Yesterday after Gov. Dayton signed the bill, My friends and I went downtown Saint Paul where there was a huge party all over celebrating love!

Also- I work downtown and I've never been surrounded by SO many polite people all at once! Everyone just wanted to spread love and it was beautiful!

People try to say that being gay is something that God hates- but how come that night felt just exactly like what I've always imagined heaven to be like?

This is something called progress you guys! We're one step closer to equality for all and I'm proud that my home is a place that promotes love for all :)

My friends and I on the lawn of the Capitol about to head downtown

One of my good buddies that I've known since high school. We were matching and had to take a picture.

Carrying my roommate home after the party. We were all burnt out!

10 Things you are doing besides being productive

So you have a test tomorrow, a paper due, you're trying to achieve a personal goal, do your taxes, fill out job applications. The list of what you could be doing to be productive and further your life is endless, however this is what you're doing instead.
1. Facebook
You're stalking that annoying girl you and your friends think is amusing to watch crumble, you're correcting someone's grammar, you're posting those photos you took 20 minutes ago of you and your friends at Perkins. If you can't waste time with Facebook then you are certainly doing something productive
2. Snacking
Ordering Pizza, convincing your buddies that a McDonalds run would help you all focus better, you're looking through the empty fridge to see if any of the cake you finished off last night got missed and perhaps there is still a slice available, or maybe 2am is completely an appropriate time to have another bowl of cereal. If you're eating you can't be working.
3. Recreational Drug use
Either you're brewing yourself a pot of coffee, someone just passed you a joint, you're about to step outside for your fifth cigarette break that hour, or you're opening up a beer for a relaxing beverage. Drugs of all sorts are there to make you forget that you were supposed to be doing something. Makes you not even want to be productive. You just want to chill and do nothing.
4. Finally giving your pet some attention
"Oh man! That fish is still alive?! I don't even remember the last time I fed him!" Your cat doesn't give you death looks when you feed her, Your hamster's cage is starting to smell, I think your dog should probably be taken for a walk. Pet's are responsibilities too. and since they're living, the IRS will understand why your taxes were late when they realized your pet could have died during the time you had set aside to do them but your pet needed attention.
5. Cleaning your room/doing laundry
I mean, it has to get done eventually right? And it counts as being productive for an hour or two.
6. Working out
Or you know, getting out of bed. For some of us that is a work out.
7. Googleing who the top most powerful women in the world are
and other useless facts that you will never use in real life such as, how to build a boat, what Rachel Maddow's wife looks like

8. Watching a TV series
I know you've seen every episode of That 70's Show, or The Walking Dead but maybe you missed some clue in Lost or How I Met Your Mother
9. preparing for the Zombie Apocalyspe.
Your emergency Oreo supply looks kinda low....... You should go to Target and pick up some more
10. Writing a blog post about 10 things you would rather be doing than being productive

What does Media Teach kids?

When I look at what's on TV today, it really freaks me out what things my siblings are learning from eachother. I see it in my younger cousins and my younger brother and sister when I see how they act thanks to the Tween TV shows that they've been watching.

Shows like Hannah Montana, iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place are showing kids causing trouble or getting into trouble, lying to their friends and parents, sneaking out to parties, 12 year olds are acting more like 16 year olds. if these kids ever do get in trouble with their parents the worst thing I've seen a parent say to their kid is "I'm very disappointed in you." the kid gets upset, and then next episode it happens all over again.

It's so frustrating seeing how kids are influenced to act like brats and think that is the way to get through life. When I was a kid, shows like Lizzie McGuire showed and awkward girl trying to get through life and trying to understand what it means to grow up. It was realistic, it was honest and I could relate to it in my tween years, nowadays the star is a snarky teenager who is pretty well liked and if something doesn't go their way they go through some insane elaborate scam in order to get things to go their way again.

I'm seeing the behavior of my siblings being influenced by these shows and my cousins that I used to babysit. My cousin is about 14, a freshman in High School, my brother is 13 just started junior high, and my youngest sister is 11 and is in 6th grade. They use insults on me whenever I visit them or have them over to my dorm, they disrespect my mother and I'm really concerned with what types of behaviors that could develop as they get older. 

According to some statistics I found on parentstv.org

66% of children (ages 10 to 16) surveyed say that their peers are influenced by TV shows

62% say that sex on TV shows and movies influences kids to have sex when they are too young

77% say there is too much sex before marriage on television

65% say that shows encourage kids to disrespect parents.   

Television alone is responsible for 10% of youth violence. - Leonard Eron, Senior Research Scientist at the University of Michigan 

About half (52%) of all parents say most TV shows are rated accurately, while about four in ten (39%) say most are not. - Kaiser Family Foundation, 9/23/04.

Portrayals that included sexual risks (stds or becoming pregnant), abstinence or need for sexual safety was depicted in 15% of the shows with sexual content. Hence, sexual content on TV is more likely to promote sexual activity among US adolescents that it is to discourage it.

It's not just the Disney shows that are a problem, kids watch things on MTV (like 16 and pregnant) and shows like Family Guy, The Simpsons, and Jersey Shore.  

44% of kids say they watch something different when they're alone than with their parents 
 

Media doesn't just affect a child's academic education, it also affects a child's behavioral education. It tells them how to grow up and how to act. 

I feel as if parents should pay more attention to what their kids are watching, and try to show kids their values of what they want their kids to learn about how to live. 

Is it time to stop letting the media teach our kids how to live and learn in life?

I think so.

Riah

Schools and Social Media

Okay so I went to a Saint Paul Public School. For those of you who didn't go to one, here's the scoop: in the school district social networking sites are banned! That's right, it's impossible for you to even get to the home pages of Facbook, Twitter, Youtube, or Myspace (like anyone goes on MySpace anymore anyways)

Okay well, I lied. It's not impossible. By the second semester of Freshman year you've spent enough time in the computer labs to figure out how to bypass the district blocks and get online to whatever site you want. It's not actually that hard. Just a matter of removing and adding certain letters. according to the New York Times It's quite common to block Social Networking sites, and just as common for students to bypass the systems 

When Thom McKay realized that his son had figured out how to get on the social networking site even though his New Jersey middle school had blocked it, he asked the boy in astonishment how he had done it.
“Pretty easy, Dad,” his son retorted. “Don’t be an idiot. We know more about computers than the teachers do.”(NYTimes)

Many schools block these sites because it could be a distraction. they say that it's just keeping focus away from what a student is doing.

I can't say I disagree. I started writing this at noon. It's now about an hour later. I've spent quite a bit of time chatting on Facebook with my best friend and watching Micky Mouse cartoons on YouTube (Don't judge me, you're never too old)

But there have been some benefits from Social Networking sites in the name of Education. My friends and I in high school have arranged study groups to meet online and exchange notes via Facebook, I've made event pages for study parties since I have started college.

Clay Shirky of Here Comes Everybody might be onto something when talking about  how social networking has made it a lot easier to organize groups of people.

This year, the state of Missouri has banned teachers from adding students as friends on Facebook saying it was unprofessional. I can see how they can find it inappropriate, students, teachers, people in general post too much on their page and some adults it would be hard to see in a professional light.

However, some people have argued that having teachers as friends on Facebook has been a good thing in helping students communicate with teachers. I've known some teachers to create special Facebook pages just for students and I've known others that refuse to add students as friends until they graduate from school.

It's really a complicated issue. It causes distractions, it causes organization, it's unprofessional, it's better connections, it reaches students on their levels. New media has created many new ethics and values on what is acceptable and what is not. But they are all so scattered and all so case by case that it's becoming really hard to really find out where the boundaries are. Even when there are some, people sure know how to cross them huh?

Riah J Davis

 

Learning and the Media

I think it's really frustrating how many people sit their kid in front of the TV to watch Nickelodeon or PBS kids Sprout. It's all like "Hey look an electronic babysitter! we don't even have to pay it and we can have it every day!" and then they'll "justify" it by saying it's educational or whatever.

The dumbest thing is how people think Baby Einstein is educational even after so many studies have shown that it is in fact no good. In 2009 Disney even offered refunds to parents that bought Baby Einstein videos. If that's not a sign that not even the company has enough faith to defend it.


Here are the facts: Back in 2002 when the videos first came out, there wasn't any research on whether these videos were any good for a child’s cognitive development. But recently  a survey by researchers at the University of Washington, found that for every hour of baby-video viewing per day, children ages 8 to 16 months knew six to eight fewer words than those who watched no videos. Now think about how many hours parents throw their children in front of the television per day, that is a lot of cognitive development that is not being accessed. 


Studies have shown that the best things that a child could do to have their cognitive abilities advance is to play outside, play with toys, have their parents read out loud to them, for the parents to talk (nicely) around their child. 


Whatever happened to children playing with play doh? or rolling in the grass? how many parents actually read their kids bedtime stories? We put them in front of the TV as soon as they are out of the womb and now we wonder why our kids are so behind in school when they go in 5 years later.


Riah

Introduction

Hello, My name is Riah J Davis.
I'm 19 years old and studying English, Education, and potentially a minor in Theatre at Hamline University in Saint Paul, Minnesota.
The Twin Cities are two amazing cities. They say Minneapolis is the place to go hang out, and Saint Paul is the place to live. I do plan on living here my entire life.

(Image Source)

I have a strong belief in human enlightenment through arts, expression, discovery and exploration, that is what I plan to do with this blog.

Some readers may remember me from the blog A Girl Underground. Well as it turns out I can somehow no longer access it through my Hamline e-mail and can't go in to edit it or post on it anymore. So instead, this is where my blog is going to be held. This here may have a bit more focus than my last blog did. You can still follow me on Twitter, and Tumblr and pretty soon I will be launching another blog via WordPress specifically about Urban Education.

Through this blog I will express creativity and enlightenment along with an analysis on cultural society of America. I will show how education, enlightenment and creativity are affected by society through technology, media, and other types of new advencements in our would said to make our lives become better.